“Having the freedom to celebrate your child in a safe community without worrying about upsetting other parents whose children are still fighting cancer is a gift. Bereaved parents are their worst nightmare, we’re the Bad News Bearers and our journeys are so different. Theirs is one of hope and ours is one of remembering. Having a space where we could truly honour Larissa was so healing.”— says Marggie Marks.
The Marks family and 13 other families found healing and comfort at Camp Kindle last year during our 2014 Bereaved Family Camp. The first of its kind in Alberta, Bereaved Family Camp has since become an annual weekend gathering.
Although many bereaved families attend Family Camp and their children attend summer camp, Bereaved Family Camp offers something especially meaningful for families on a different journey.
“The best thing we can do for families who have lost a child is to connect them with a supportive community that understands their experience better than anyone,” says Kelly Kerr of Kids Cancer Care. “This Family Camp is one weekend in an entire year, where they don’t have to explain anything or edit themselves. We set up camp so each individual and each family can get what they need from the weekend. They can grieve, they can remember, they can share stories, they can find support from each other or spend quiet time alone. They can still laugh and have fun, they can hope for good things to come. We want them to know that they are still part of this community, there is always a place for them.”
Tim’s and Marggie’s daughter Larissa was only nine months old when she was diagnosed with glioblastoma, an aggressive brain cancer rarely found in children that is usually terminal. After a lengthy brain surgery, Larissa fell into a coma and eventually passed away just weeks before her first birthday. Although Tim and Marggie would give anything to have their little girl back, they are grateful she did not suffer long.
“The grief never ends,” says Larissa’s mother Marggie, “but you come to terms with it eventually. It took five years to finally feel more stable. Danica was my reason for coping. You can’t shut yourself away in your bedroom and cry forever when you have a two-year-old who needs you. Danica gave me my reason for living. She gave me my life.”
Keeping the memory of Larissa alive is important to Tim and Marggie. “One of the reasons we connected with Kids Cancer Care is because we wanted our children to remember their sister, to really understand and to cope. These camps have helped them to grow and to become more compassionate people.”
Over the weekend, families enjoyed the thrill of the challenge course, nature hikes, reflective art projects and making bannock over a campfire.
The weekend also marked the opening of the Reflection Garden with a First Nation’s drumming circle. “We loved the Reflection Garden and the drumming circle,” said Marggie. “For me, it was deeply moving to hear the Elder compare our journey to that of God and his son, Christ. I had never thought of it in that way and it gave me peace. How gracious and generous it was for a spiritual leader from another faith to make those connections—in a way that would be meaningful to us.”
Thank you. You’ve given parents, grieving the loss of their young, a safe space to honour their child.